The Seven Stages of Grief, by dnd

Grief

Grief by Gene Gould

I’ve got a wonderful neighbor who is a huge Hillary Clinton supporter. Huge. She loves Hillary and she loves Bill. There is a strong emotional connection despite the fact she’s never met either of them. So needless to say, she was not happy when Hillary suspended her campaign. She was seriously upset. She consoled me when Bill Richardson dropped out of the race, so I tried, unsuccessfully, to console her. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was going through the seven stages of grief:

1. Disbelief. She couldn’t believe Hillary finally, after so much, threw in the towel.
2. Denial. Hillary only “suspended” her campaign. She could get right back in it when the time’s right.
3. Bargaining. If only she’d campaigned harder, contributed more to the campaign.
4. Fear. This was the first real hope of a woman being elected as president, and she’s afraid she won’t live to see it happen.
5. Anger. Oh, yeah, she got angry. She was mad at the DNC rules committee. She was mad at Howard Dean. She was mad at Patty Solis Doyle. She was mad at Howard Wolfson. Mark Penn? Don’t get her started.
6. Depression. Depression isn’t so much a stage, because people who are grieving are often depressed throughout the previous stages. My neighbor was no exception.
7. Acceptance/Hope. She finally worked through it and has accepted what has happened. She’s supporting Obama. She loves Joe Biden; though she wishes Hillary had been picked. She’s much happier now, and I’m happy for her. It was a tough emotional time for her.

My neighbor is pissed at the PUMA crowd. She thinks they make Hillary look bad.

She thinks Hillary and Bill will give strong, supportive speeches at the Democrat’s convention and that they will be a plus on the Obama campaign trail.

She thinks Hillary will go on and become a powerhouse in the Senate.

I think she may be right.

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76 Comments

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76 responses to “The Seven Stages of Grief, by dnd

  1. Good piece dnd, I only hope your friend is right regarding the speeches given by Hillary and Bill.

    P.S. I’ll update the Fantasy Cabinet chart later today.

  2. Chef Sheila

    Dnd,

    You are so kind. I would love to be your neighbor. I think you hit this one out of the park.

    One comment on the PUMA. Did you see the representation on the matthews show last night? “Obama is a Muslim”…….PUMA are bigots. I’m glad your neighbor is more a presentation of real Clinton supporters.

  3. Obama is a “registered Muslim” is what that crack pot said, whatever the hell that is. I’m a registered organ donor, maybe it’s something like that.

  4. Chef Sheila

    And let me so state.

    PUMA are even more embarrassing to poor Senator Clinton. They won’t even listen to her.

    PUMA are really right wing McCain Supporters who are trying to divide. They come in all shapes and sizes and most are indentifiable by their lack of brain power. Their plain of thought is of nothing but hate and the disillusionment of their own power. They are the last throes of the “ME” generation.

    Thank goodness your neighbor is a thinker and compassionate and aware of her own responsibilities to the next generation.

    Time for work!

  5. How you feeling today Sheila?

  6. Chef Sheila

    A little better. weak stomache. Still a headache but not as horrible as yesterday.

    CIO!

  7. dog's eye view

    dnd: good essay and something to keep in mind about the “give us time” appeals.

    Roger Simon of Politico has 6-part series, “Relentless”, on how Obama bested Clinton over a long primary season.

    It should be reassuring to anyone looking for a clue as to how Obama might govern effectively — study and plan and budget early; always have a Plan B and go with it asap to keep moving forward. Look at the situation as it is, look for hidden possibilities, and don’t count on excelling only through others’ time-tested strategies — what has changed and how can you create better circumstances?

    Simon spoke with 25 field staff and advisers to both campaigns and got a lot of especially candid assessments from the Clinton staffers.

    Interesting and often amusing read.

    http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12731_Page2.html

  8. horsedooty

    you are sick Sheila? nobody told me

  9. dog's eye view

    WaPo interviewed Clinton delegates from MD, DC and VA — sounds like most are moving forward. Spotsylvania County, VA Obama field organizer is being housed by a Clinton delegate for duration of the campaign. That is very kind and talk about making common ground and calling on delegate’s knowledge of the voters and area.

    Three cheers for Mr. and Mrs. Carlos del Toro of Stafford, VA.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/25/AR2008082502963.html

  10. Like the piece dnd.

    You know all their grief and sadness would be worthwhile if it would possibly change anything for these bitterati….but it will not.

    It won’t change a dang thing-the whole emotional outrage a show strictly done in vain.

    Shelia – headaches are horrible…..feel better soon.

  11. Karolenna

    dnd, Your piece is right on. Having had to work through grief myself, it is a process. Unfortunately, some individuals choose to dwell in their misery forever.

    Yes, McInsane and Rovian tactics are going after the bitter bitches (and a few wussie men). These are people who don’t give a damn about this country and the direction it is going.

    PUMA – Pissed Unamerican Moron Assholes

  12. Chef Sheila

    I think the Stages of Grief hits one out of the Park. I have read a few posts that show there is still a LOT of DENIEL in the PUMA camp….of course PUMA’s are jut a small itchy scab on Hillary CLinton’s arm.

    Tonight Hillary Clinton will scratch the scabb and flick it off…..Poof! No more relevant PUMA. ;0)

    Ignored….

  13. Karolenna

    Sheila,

    What gets me is that some of the HRC supporters will not even listen to her tonight. Nor Bill tomorrow night. They don’t want to hear what either of them have to say. My aunt told me that she and my other aunt were just not watching any of the convention. I asked her “well, how are you going to know what is going on and where everyone stands”. She said she already knew where everyone stands. Sound familiar.

    Fester, fester, fester … and rot

  14. Chef Sheila

    Its obvious isn’t it? They are really McCain supporters and they have sucessfully infiltrated the convention because the media wants it.

    I feel bad for Hillary and Bill to have caused somthing that will cause them grief and the denigration of their reputations for the rest of their careers.

    I mean PUMA’s are some sort of crazy KARMA aren’t they?

  15. Chef Sheila

    Bill and Hillary Clinton have more integrity in their little pinkies than the PUMA’s have in the whole width’s of their mile wide !@#$%^. ;0)

    So I’m through picking the scab. I promise to move on now. Can’t wait to hear the Clintons rally around Barack and Michelle Obama!

  16. Karolenna

    What I know in my gut is that PUMA is destroying any chance that Hillary Clinton will ever have to become president of the United States. What was mentioned last night during the convention is that Teddy Kennedy lost in his bid to become president, but went on to become one of the most renowned and respected senators and will go down in history as such. I’ve always thought that what is destined to be will be.

  17. Chef Sheila

    I agree Karolenna.

    What I suspect, is that Hillary Clinton needs to buckle down and live up to the HUGE pedistal she has been put on by her supporters. I bet even SHE understands what damage they are doing.

    The ME generation is coming home to roost and its “landing” on her head.

  18. dog's eye view

    Karolenna: I think so too. It’s a genie that should never have gotten out of the bottle.

    Did they learn nothing from the ruin that followed some of their impeachers? (Bob Livingston, Newt Gingrich, Jim Rogan — I think the only person who did well politically off the impeachment was Lindsey Graham and it was because he looked mild in comparison to the other whackjobs who went too far…)

    Sometimes ugly things take a life of their own and consume those who enabled the destruction to begin.

    ========

    The PUMAs and deadenders is what my friend foresaw happening if Hillary did not win the nomination.

    Funny, because the right wing nutjobs always attacking Hillary was a reason for not supporting her, in my book. Too much drama.

  19. dnd

    Thanks guys for the comments. I’m looking forward to Hillary’s speech tonight.

    Shelia, take care of yourself!

  20. Chef Sheila

    Thanks dnd. The aftermath is sometimes worse than the actual headache. My stomach is feeling torn up, but in a few days it will be better.

    I am looking forward to a great Clinton speech too.

  21. dnd

    Luke Russert takes your questions on local tv show:

    http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=98265&catid=339

    President Carter and Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer interviews too.

  22. horsedooty

    Dnd, great article. you have your detractors but we know them well. keep on keepin’ on!

  23. dnd

    From Andy Borowitz:

    “In what might be his most controversial attack ad in a campaign dominated by them, presumptive G.O.P. presidential nominee John McCain today launched a new TV spot attacking Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill)’s two children.”

    http://borowitzreport.com/

  24. horsedooty

    that is awe striking dnd those bitterati are GOP plants.

  25. dog's eye view

    from Andrew Sullivan on Michelle’s speech and plz look at the picture.

    http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/08/what-it-meant-1.html

    You would enjoy reading Andrew today — lots of good stuff.

    Someone commented on the Barack driving new baby home story; that fathers everywhere can relate to it.

    I saw it more as a story of how he understands his role as steward of our country and future and will be vigilant on our behalf. He’s got his eyes open and realizes the stakes.

    He says softly at his events: “I will keep you safe.”

  26. dog's eye view

    Lady Lynn de Rothschild de Bitterati — major HRC fundraiser — likens Obama campaign to Titanic.

    Hillary needs this stuff like a migraine.

    This is the Democratic party elite it is best to leave behind.

    http://www.washingtonindependent.com/2926/clinton-donor-predicts-loss-in-november?disqus_reply=1856905#comment-1856905

  27. dog's eye view

    Found this while searching for Marcela Hazan’s chicken cutlet recipe.

    Good stuff.

    http://glutenfreesoxfan.wordpress.com/tag/italian/

  28. dnd

    Hey dog,
    Thanks for the link to that Roger Simon piece. Really fascinating piece of reporting.

  29. Steve (AH)

    Hey gang. Just got in from the Dentist’s chair—-

  30. Steve (AH)

    Going to catch Hill-Dawg tonight. Guys I think she is going to come through for Obama. I think she has been “playing ball” for the team despite all the hype. I think she will do fine.

  31. Steve (AH)

    I did see the Matthews interview with the three PUMA hags—looked like the witches from McBeth—pretty silly. I like what I am seeing from most Clinton supporters. i think things are going to be OK

  32. Hey Steve, I hope the dentist wasn’t painful, and I agree Hillary will come through, it’s the buffoon she’s married to that is the problem, no wonder he wasn’t given a prime time speaking gig.

  33. Steve (AH)

    will check back in later

  34. Steve (AH)

    Oh Brian,

    How far Bill has fallen in my eyes. That stupid ass stuff he said in SC, and then they way he helped do in Hillary….his big fat mouth…

  35. Steve (AH)

    Brian,

    Gotta have two taken out-yikes

  36. Steve (AH)

    Hillary Clinton speaks at convention. The press concocts a story

    http://mediamatters.org/columns/200808260005

  37. Steve (AH)

    OK this time really out of here, going to see some coverage and maybe get the unfiltered on CSpan and PBS

  38. Chef Sheila

    Kucinich! Is on at the convention right now

  39. Chef Sheila

    Here’s some red meat for sure!

  40. Chef Sheila

    He’s whipping them up, their standing up and cheering!

  41. dnd

    Whoa! Kucinich is amped up.

  42. Chef Sheila

    GO DENNIS! GO LOL

  43. Chef Sheila

    That was fun!

  44. Karolenna

    I’m watching CSpan for the convention and switching back and forth from there to MSNBC, but did any of you just see Dennis Kucinich. He absolutely rocks and with so few people in the house he got a standing ovation. That’s our Dennis.

    With all the interviews on MSNBC you miss some of the really good moments, IMO. Thank Got for the last channel selection.

  45. Karolenna

    You guys must realize with the ailment I’ve been having these past two weeks I’m on an antibiotic that affects my tendons. I’m being so careful. In order to post on here I have to come back downstairs into my office then go back up to watch the convention.

  46. Chef Sheila

    That’s horrible K,

    Just horrible

  47. dnd

    Federico Pena, former Denver mayor and member of the Clinton cabinet, and Obama campaign co-chair will be speaking tonight. Aaaaawkward!

  48. Karolenna

    Sheila,

    I have a huge family room downstairs but I’ve not completely finished it yet. The tv sucks down here so I go back upstairs to watch, which is what I will be doing about now.

    Check in later.

  49. Which one you taking Karolenna? I have a quite a history of long term antibiotic use.

  50. Chef Sheila

    Awesome to see all the senate and congressional women!

  51. dnd

    Man Rendell is on fire!

  52. Steve (AH)

    Karolenna….get better!!!

    Man, saw Skinny Dennis- that guy was having a blast! I’ve been singing his praises for some time now…..

    Cant hang in there until 10:30 kids. Work makes me get up at 4. im going to miss Hillary.

  53. Karolenna

    Brian, I’m taking Levaquin 750 mg, which caused my daughter to have some serious tendon problems in her foot while working out. We went on vacation she had a terrible time getting around Charleston, SC, because you need to walk so much there.

  54. I like what Luke Russert is saying about younger voters….rings so true with what I know of this group.

  55. Karolenna

    I’m really kinda down now. My daughter, Nikki, just called to say she thinks her Husky is dying. She took her for a walk and her backend gave out. Even with the baby in the stroller she had to sit on the sidewalk and wait until Cheyenne could get back up to go home. She has had surgery for problems there, but Nikki said “Mom, there was just this look in her eyes”. I know that look. I knew when my Wolfie was dying the night before. I told her to not take her for anymore walks to just allow her to do what she wants in the house. Nikki never wants animals to suffer, but I told her she may just die in her sleep or she could be around for a while now. Cheyenne is so very beautiful, just like her buddy Wolfie was. Beautiful blue eyes and a real soul.

  56. yeah Levaquin is a hard one, I can’t take it at all because of my hbv.

    Yeah I saw that too UB, and I think that’s what so hard for many older females to accept from their younger sisters, the “what’s the big deal factor”

  57. dog's eye view

    Karolenna: am sorry to hear that. Good advice to your daughter. Cheyenne is probably embarrassed by her loss of control.

    Please keep us posted. Our wonderful animals do not live long enough.

  58. I’m really sorry to hear about the pup K. Though I disagree about letting her go in the house, some dogs will just try to hold it till they are even more pain, my Patsy was like that. At the end i would just take her out in front of the building. In fact that was how she passed, as soon as we got back in the house. But she had heart disease.

  59. Oh that is so sad Karo.
    You know I am hoping for the best – Husky-love, I love them all………I totally understand how hard this is. Send good thought your way.

  60. Steve (AH)

    Karolenna: so, so sorry to hear about the Dog…if she gets her to the vet things may improve. You never know….hang in there

  61. BTW Steve how is our mascot KDN doing?

  62. dnd

    K,
    Sorry to hear about the pooch. I hope things get better. Husky’s and Malamutes are the best.

  63. Hey retriever/Shepard and pit/shepard mixes as the best!

  64. dnd

    I just switched from PBS to MSNBC to see Rachael Maddow say how the McCain campaign is using Hillary in ways she does approve of. Buchanan is arguing with her. I’m hoping she socks him in the nose 😉

  65. Wouldn’t you just love to see her club him to death like a baby fur seal!

  66. Haha, Tweety calling Wolfson a little toy soldier being kept on the shelf.

  67. Karolenna

    Just to be clear, Cheyenne is 12 years old, which is old for a Husky. Nikki puts her out in the acre plot on a lead to go to the bathroom and lets Cheyenne tell her when she wants back in.

    Poor Cheyenne is an unusual story. I worked for Levi Strauss and there was this nice young guy from Cincinnati working for us. He was single so I got him fixed up (can’t help it folks…that’s just me) with Nikki’s best girlfriend. He moved back to Cinncy and gave the dog to Nikki’s girlfriend. She and Nikki lived together in a condo, but when the girlfriend moved out Cheyenne did not want to go with her. So, she gave Cheyenne to Nikki. Dogs just know when people are animal lovers, don’t they. She has had her ever since and that has been since about 1996 or 1997. When Nikki married her husband he said they had to get rid of the “hurd” (cat and dog). Nikki said “No, we came as a package”. That’s my daughter.

  68. Chef Sheila

    Well sitting here after the fact watching the Clinton speech…..VERY VERY GREAT!!!

    She did Obama a great turn. Very proud.

  69. Chef Sheila

    outstanding new Obama Add. Ya just want ta sing right along!

  70. Chef Sheila

    BideMentum!

    Just thought I’d say that.

    –Josh Marshall

  71. Chef Sheila

    And before I go to bed….

    “NO HOW, NO WAY, NO MCMCAIN!!!”

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