As a change of pace, lets talk about what this year’s Campaign Launguage really means to us. Yes, just us…..I mean just a little baby blog with a bunch snarky bloggers having a little brain storming session, OK? OK…
But rather than promote one ticket over the other, I believe the best thing I can do today is define the words, phrases and declarations that have melded into new meanings in the furnace of this political campaign.
- Abstinence-only education: The theory that immature, hormone-exploding teens living in one of the most sexually active times in history will not benefit from any mention of contraception in schools. See also, “Jusst Say No…..Sorry Nancy, know that was all ready taken….”
- Bridge to Nowhere: Bridge to Somewhere, i.e., the White House, once position is changed from support to opposition.
- Community organizer: Hateful type of person who pads his resume by helping poor people.
- Conservative: A person who has his underwear perpetually in a bunch but blames the laundry of low paid workers for his discomfort.
- Executive experience: A newly important qualification for high office that only former mayors of small towns are said to possess.
- Fair and balanced: The motto of a TV network catering to viewers seeking news that is unfair and unbalanced covering those they hate.
- Foreign policy experience: A special knowledge shared only by war heroes or governors of states bordering foreign countries.
- Journalist: A writer who is accused of bias by people who are hopelessly biased.
- Liberal: A person who believes that consenting adults may have any sort of sex they like but shouldn’t be permitted to share a cigarette afterwards.
- Lipstick: A cosmetic applied thickly to all campaign issues as a weapon of mass “Distraction”.
- Socialized medicine: Any plan that removes million of Americans from the ranks of those without health insurance.
- “The fundamentals of our economy are strong”: A political judgment best taken as a suggestion to stock your pantry with canned goods.
- Right Wing Talk Radio: A medium of propaganda beyond the wildest dreams of Dr. Goebbels and the Third Reich.
- Wind energy: Joe Biden……hey! Joe’s little appreciated talents are finaly being seen a a valuable commodity this season.