Mitt Ends Campaign!

AP – In a statement issued today, Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney has decided to end his campaign:

“After much prayer, soul searching and discussions with family and friends, I have decided to suspend my campaign for the Republican nomination for the presidency of the United States.  Make no mistake, my friends, I have thoroughly enjoyed our vicious attacks against my opponents and the President with a campaign of misinformation, slander and ought-right lies.  I haven’t had so much fun since my days at Bain Capital when we’d slash jobs at companies in distress and then walk away with a pile of cash, while the company continued to struggle.

But upon soulful reflection I’ve realized that Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich are much better liars than I am, and my friends that is saying something.  If we are to retake the White House,  we will need a highly skilled pathological liar.

So, my friends, it is with a heavy heart that I am suspending my campaign.  To my supporters and staff,  thank you.

Besides, if elected President, I couldn’t afford the pay cut.”

April Fools

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14 Comments

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14 responses to “Mitt Ends Campaign!

  1. We can only wish it were true!

  2. you guys may like to read this. Patsi Bale Cox was busted for running moonshine right before she died. They couldn’t make the charges stick though. http://www.nodepression.com/profiles/blogs/patsi-bale-cox-real-broads-live-on-their-own-terms-stand-their-1

    • dnd

      Smoking cigarettes with an oxygen tank for the emphysema while running high test moonshine. That’s our Patsi 😉

  3. People still run moonshine? Why?

  4. tempebev

    The above vv’s were a test. Ignore

    Have had oldest son and family for the past 4 days. It’s so quiet here now. That’s a good thing. Loved the 4/1 article about Mitt. Hope Dooty and a former bro-in-law are OK in the TX storms.

  5. dogs eye view

    Paging Dr. Doots. Show up and prove that you, Carol and pups are in good shape. Not in the Emerald City or anything.

  6. dogs eye view

    Watching a PBS documentary on building the Grand Coulee Dam.

    Back when we were a “can do” nation, and putting people to work was a good thing.

  7. all good here in Casa Dooty pups are great and Carol was at work and didn’t pay any attention.

  8. dogs eye view

    A Doots sighting! Awrrright! And good to hear.

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